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Family Crisis Time

Short story:  Families are stressful.

For those who may not know, my mother has congestive heart failure and her heart has been working at only 15% efficiency with no hope of improving more than a couple of percent. She has gone downhill significantly in the past month or so. My sister (B-girl) moved in with her as a constant companion to take care of things for her. Unfortunately, my mom lives in an apartment in my brother's (B-boy) basement and his wife (C) does not get along with B-girl at all. It all came to a head this week and we had a family conference with yelling and accusations. My other sister (J) and I did not know there was anything more than the usual tension in the household until this week. Apparently C is threatening to leave B-boy (her husband) if B-girl doesn't move out. Mom needs frequent, but not constant, care so C thinks she should be moved directly into a home. Mom is adamantly against that and, regardless, can't afford a private one.

Anyway, J's husband came up with a temporary fix that would allow mom and B-girl to be together for a few months without being in B-boy's basement while we get a geriatric assessment done so mom can get some home care. Mom dismissed the solution immediately. She admits she does not like change. I called and persuaded her to keep an open mind and think about it. We are awaiting mom's answer on whether she wants to try this solution. My fingers are crossed that she accepts because it would solve, at least temporarily, almost every problem that presented at the meeting.

As for me, I am working 2 full-time jobs and the added stress is not affecting me in a positive way. Medical transcription really requires a great deal of concentration and that's pretty much gone, as has sleep. Ah yes, sleep would be nice.


Thank you. That was pretty much the most appropriate response...and very appreciated.
I'm sorry things are so tough at the moment. I'm not surprised that you're being affected in a negative way by all that stress. I hope your mom agrees to that temporary fix as I'm sure it would relieve at least some of the family tension.

Please email me if you need to talk. My thoughts and sympathy are definitely with you.
Thank you for your thoughts and the offer. Mom has, so far, declined the temporary solution. My sister is going home tomorrow, so Mom will have to cope mostly alone and that may give her an incentive to rethink her position.

April 2015



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