Okay, so Brimley chews everything. He's worse than a puppy who's teething. At least the teething phase ends. He has chewed almost completely around the top of our lampshade, so the shade now consists of the wire frame and the plastic shade hanging perilously from a single point. In seeking out suitable lampshades, I have discovered it is likely cheaper to replace the lamps. I'll put the old ones in storage for the future (waste not, want not); but we'll get cheapy lamps that birds won't be able to sit on (i.e. closed top shades).